nothing else matters.

Deep and Meaningless

2008-11-26T15:01:00.003+08:00

Nice Song.

Yes, I will.

2008-11-17T10:48:00.002+08:00

Even if it means giving up my own dreams for you, I will.

Anything for you.

Yes, anything.

(:

The picture says it all...

2008-11-08T15:06:00.000+08:00

A Saying...

2008-11-07T14:39:00.002+08:00

It is said that "Once You go Rock n Roll, You can't do Jay Chou."

Amen to that Brother.

...

2008-11-07T13:00:00.000+08:00

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for things they say
Never cared for games they play
I'd never cared for what they do
I'd never cared for what they know
And I know

Yeah!

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trust in who we are
And nothing else matters

I can read your mind

2008-10-28T16:30:00.003+08:00

Don't think sorry's easily said
Don't try turning tables instead
You've taken lots of chances before
But I ain't gonna give anymore
Don't ask me
That's how it goes
Cos part of me knows what you're thinking
Don't say words you're gonna regret
Don't let fire rush to your head
I've heard the accusation before
And I ain't gonna take anymore
Believe me
The sun in your eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see anymore to know that
I can read your mind

Don't leave false illusions behind
Don't cry I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
Cos I ain't gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the sign are deceiving

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see anymore to know that
I can read your mind

Songs Galore

2008-10-27T23:14:00.002+08:00

My song collection has grown! 70 more to 10k. :D

What women want.

2008-10-24T16:38:00.000+08:00

Not all women want what we think they want. They may want what we think they don't want but want what they think we think they want what we think they don't want.

What do we really want in life?

2008-10-21T20:42:00.004+08:00

One day you are here. The next? You might be not. What Jin said is absolutely true. "Does it matter? It doesn't matter, really, as long as you are having fun, as long as you are still living..." This sentence I've taken from his blog really strike a chord. Full post here: http://jinzos.blogspot.com/2008/10/good-new-days.html

Went for a medical checkup today at IMH's temporary "Hougang Polyclinic" in the morning at about 9:30am. Been having persistent chest pains and breathing difficulties when I am angry, agitated or laughing too much or playing soccer too streneously , so I wanted to check it out.

Ultimately the ECG test says --> Outcome - Sinus Rythym -- Sinus Arrhythmia

I was like what in the blue hell is that. So I sms Ting to check it on Google for me.
Results are:

http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-Sinus-Arrhythmia?&id=1084718
http://www.mamashealth.com/arrhythmia.asp

I don't know how serious this is. But hmm, as far as I can recall, I have been having this problem since I was in primary school. After so many years, and I am still living a great life, I guess I can live with it. A friend of mine also has this prob, he said as long as I chill, I can live forever. Yes, forever. :D

Things I have to stop doing:

(Worst of all) No more soccer.
No more coffee and tea.
No more sauce. (No idea what sauce)
No more getting angry over stupid things.
No more shouting screamo style when jamming.
No more guitar power stances and vigorous shaking.
No more laughing at people's lame jokes to make them feel better.

Things I have to start doing:

(Most important!) CHILL!
Eat more greens.
Just enjoy life and stop stressing!

Life rocks. :D

Sad Story of a Mad Gamer

2008-10-09T19:58:00.003+08:00

Was packing my drawer and I found one of the something that reminded me of the sad past.
All that $$. If only I knew better.

Stop Gaming Addiction. Now.

Side note: Selling each used card at $1.00.
( Help me lessen my loss :( )

Shiznits.

2008-10-08T09:39:00.004+08:00

Dang, its only Wednesday.

Wednesdays always feels like crap. Work at office has been a total bore. been reading D.Grayman at www.mangafox.com in order to pass my time faster. Also started playing a web based Virtual Stock Exchange system to learn about stock investing without losing real money due to the fact that I do not know how it works. Started with a portfolio of $1,000 to play around. Because the rates and quotes are based on the REAL thing, I believe its a good experience. Made a profit of $81.17 on my first try, pretty lucky.

I have also created a game for friends who wants to join me. The starting portfolio is $10,000. Lost 13% of my "money" already. Jin is the leader now but still making a loss.

Game Details:

Use the information and directions below to join the game.

Game ID: Overload_Practice
Game Password: bowen

Open this link and read the competition summary:
http://vse.marketwatch.com/Game/StartViewGame.aspx?id=Overload_Practice
Click on the 'Join Game' link.
If you are an existing Virtual Stock Exchange member, enter your Email address and Password in the login panel and get set to trade. If you are a new user, follow the link to register - it's easy!
Follow the instructions and start trading!

Join now, and see if you can win my Overload Investment competition! The more participants the higher the level of competition. Can you master the market?

Always good to learn new things eh?

New toy.

2008-10-03T00:03:00.001+08:00

Tamiya Mini 4WD.

Spark of brilliance.

2008-10-02T10:13:00.014+08:00

Thursday! Feels good as tomorrow is Friday. It is only 10+ am but I finally found the solution to the problem I had in my program. I only thought of the ultimate solution 2 weeks later! But I am just so glad its solved as the deadline is tomorrow. Primitive programming languages like VB6 really seem to have a lot of limitations, but if you know the syntax and methods, its actually pretty powerful. Its good to have knowledge on those "retro" languages as most large companies still use them due to the fact that it is too tedious to change the entire company's structure and stuff.

Wednesday was fun. Supposed to go to the Singapore Flyer with Bubu to do some voluntary work, helping and guiding kids if they are lost but instead after traveling all the way there we decided to give it a pass as the people in charge told us that they ran out of the T- shirts we are supposed to wear. With the main intention of helping out "voluntarily" for the sake of the free T - shirts and knowing that we will not have the T - shirts, we decided not to help! So we went back to Hougang area to get our hair done and went to spend some quality time together. Bubu's getting rounder, because she eats too much. But fret not, just watch your diet a little bit and it will be fine. Don't worry too much okay. Anyway I like your new fringe. Makes you look cute, haha.

Random: Electricity bills to increase by 20%.
So typical. First, the government makes its citizens feel so loved by giving out "Growth Dividends" and GST credits. Then the next thing you know, price hikes here and there. So, whenever they start giving "freebies", you will know that in the next few weeks or months to come, you are going to lose more money. Transport fees will surely go up again sooner or later. Everything will increase as long as the current government is in charge. They do not look out for their citizen's interests. When I say citizens, I refer to those who are real Singaporeans not those god-damned China immigrants and the likes. All they want is money, we Singaporeans are losing our precious job positions everyday with the Government happily "opening their doors" to foreign talents. I do not believe that doing so benefits the locals' interests, just the government pockets. Then comes the propaganda. They show those half-assed TV shows on Singaporeans living abroad and their thoughts which obviously, are lies. "I miss the busy and bustling life in Singapore." Bla bla bla. You got to be kidding me. How much they paid you to say that? They want us to have a sense of belonging for our country when they are indirectly chasing us away to find "greener pastures" overseas. The amount of dissatisfaction I have personally against the government is immense. National Day rally speech? It makes me laugh, the whole thing's a joke! Especially those half-assed answers they give. Its amazing how some people really fall for that. Just can't wait to evacuate this god-forsaken island that they call a country.

Just my 2 cents.

Well, back to coding and debugging.

SIGH.

Week 5

2008-09-30T13:06:00.005+08:00

So here we are, at week 5 of attachment. It is really challenging trying to keep yourself awake after lunch time, and when all you can ever do is stare at the computer screen. At times your mind simply wanders away and you find yourself sleeping. So this is the type of environment I am going to find myself working in if I continue working in the IT industry? Looks like I am screwed. I can't possibly be coding for hours and staring at the cheapskate CRT monitor all day for the rest of my life. And time is not helping. It is amazing how slow time passes when you want it to speed up. Damn, whoever thought programming and programmers are cool are so wrong. I've lost the "I am so hype-up about attachment" feeling, instead I realized this is what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life. Looking at fellow colleagues tearing their hair off trying to meet project deadlines made me realize that I am next on the list.

Jerold's Daily Cycle

- Wakes up at 7:05am
- Bath and get ready stuff till 7:55am
- Leave house and heads for bus stop
- 8:25am Arrives at NCS Hub
- Programming till 12pm
- Eat for 1/2 hour
- Kill time slack sleep at cubicle
- Programming till 6pm.
- Returns home after 6.
- Eats dinner and goes to bed.

And it gets better. It repeats! Hooray, not.

Being sick sucks. Last week I had to take 3 days M/C because I am ill. What's so bad about 3 days off? You get NO PAY. Yes, no pay. Although I am paid like only $25 bucks a day, getting none for 3 days makes it really bad.

I get irritated easily these couple of days. No idea why. I just feel that there's definitely more to it than just all this bull crap I am currently facing. Is there? Come to think of it, I doubt I will have a nice future in Singapore. Its so sad, to see your country being "invaded" by Chinese nationals, stealing your jobs because they are paid lesser and does much more work, flooding your footpaths with their "made in the PRC" bicycles and even having the nerves to ring their bells when you are in the way. It is called footpath for a reason, you ignorant slant-eyed beings. Oh yes, Singapore is an immigrant society you say? What about our welfare? The IT industry in Singapore is also a goner. Why? It is because we got owned by immigrants again. This time, its the people from India. Seeking higher pay after they graduated from the "Silicon Valley" and coming to Singapore to outsource and stealing our jobs is really a serious problem. Companies do not see it as a problem though. All they can think of is to maximize profits.

My Line 6 Spider III Amp sucks. Cool sounding name, but it sounds too digital. Plugging in my audio technica headphones into the zoom 2.1u pedals made me realized that.

Wow, did I just wrote that. That is just some randomness of mine. Well back to work.

cmi.

2008-09-16T01:42:00.004+08:00

This semester's GPA. Credits to Gemira's Spreadsheet.

CMI. GPA still below 3, to be exact = 2.955. How to go university like that. :/

2008-08-22T20:48:00.001+08:00

The world won't change with pretty words alone.

2008-08-12T22:46:00.002+08:00

-.-

2008-08-12T09:43:00.001+08:00

Sometimes after its over you will realize that you have gone overboard.

Perhaps I did.

2008-08-11T22:38:00.004+08:00

Sometimes it really disappoints you what your friends can say to you at times. I guess I am always at the losing end for being kind.

Thanks anyways.

IIS 7 on VISTA!

2008-08-05T21:03:00.002+08:00

IIS 7 on VISTA configured! Roar!!

http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b82/hjerold/Loans.jpg

Project over! *twitch brows up and down rapidly*

Thanks fellow group members for the good job!

2008-08-03T20:15:00.003+08:00

Sometimes working too hard is a bad thing. I concentrate too much when I do something that has importance to me. In result, neglecting others things which are more important. 2 more days! Soon it will all be over.

Random: Interested in custom made badges?
Visit: http://janelloshea.etsy.com/ (My sister's store)

Problems.

2008-08-02T02:13:00.000+08:00

DEAR GOD, I NEED HER TO FIND SOME FAITH IN ME. THANKS!

2008-07-31T00:55:00.002+08:00

For 1 week. Every time I look at the clock. its 12:34. Its freaky. Bad omen? Or 4d top prize?

square one.

2008-07-30T23:45:00.002+08:00

So here we are, back to square one. Will it ever end? Will it? Will it?

I sooooooo wanna know.

It's appalling. Simply appalling.

Project's the only thing on my mind. But that doesn't mean I don't care. Now's the crucial period. 5 more days. Get this shit over? Make this fucking end? I wish it will. Then, yeah. I'll be gone.

2008-07-25T20:36:00.004+08:00

What makes you happy? What makes you smile? I'm so random, lol. But yeah @_@.

-Jinzo. Yongs. Gang. Meng. Chang. Nash.

This few dudes are too leet for you to handle.

-Ting. Jess. XY. Gene. Yc. Mr.Cheng. Merv. Sugiarto. Stan.

My poly companions!

- My Mom and Family

Tho my family always say Im like the outcast in the family. I do infact love them loads.

- Myself

No one will love you if you don't love yourself ok >;(

- Ting

This pampered and spoilt girl! <3

DUDE.

2008-07-25T20:33:00.001+08:00

Dude, i totally miss you
I really fucking miss you
I'm all alone,
All the time, all the time

Dude, i totally miss you
The things we did together
Where have you gone?

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, i totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, i totally miss you
All the time

Ahhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, aaaaaah
aah ya-he haaa.

Totally miss the honesty
And special times, and honestly
I totally miss the fucked up thing ya do

Dude, i totally miss you
I totally miss you
Dude, i totally miss you
All the time

ARGH MOBILE.

2008-07-23T21:22:00.003+08:00

Dammit. What's wrong with the mobile lecture notes. So many slides, but information wise, its atrocious! Bet the lecturer simply copy and paste off some google-able websites. Come course feedback week, I am so gonna complain >;(

wrong wrong wrong.

2008-07-23T01:11:00.003+08:00

Maybe I am indeed arrogant.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Well thats me.

Staring at the carnage, praying that the sun would never rise
Living another day in disguise
These feelings can't be right, lend me your courage to stand up and fight

Sad but True

2008-07-20T22:04:00.001+08:00

Hey I’m your life
I’m the one who takes you there
Hey I’m your life
I’m the one who cares
They, They betray
I’m your only true friend now
They, They’ll betray
I’m forever there

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your dream, mind astray
I’m your eyes while you’re away
I’m your pain while you repay
You know it’s sad but true, sad but true

You, You’re my mask
You’re my cover, my shelter
You, You’re my mask
You’re the one who’s blamed
Do, Do my work
Do my dirty work, scapegoat
Do, Do my deeds
For you’re the one who’s shamed

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your dream, mind astray
I’m your eyes while you’re away
I’m your pain while you repay
You know it’s sad but true,sad but true

I'm your dream,
I'm your eyes,
I'm your pain

I'm your dream
I'm your eyes
I'm your pain
You know it's sad but true, sad but true

Hate, I’m your hate
I’m your hate when you want love
Pay, Pay the price
Pay for nothing’s fair

Hey, I’m your life
I’m the one who took you there
Hey, I’m your life
And I no longer care

I’m your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your pain when you can’t feel
Sad but true

I’m your truth, telling lies
I’m your reasoned alibis
I’m inside open your eyes
I’m you

Sad but true

Google It.

2008-07-20T19:08:00.001+08:00

I LOVE GOOGLE. DO YOU?

caught in the middle.

2008-07-20T16:41:00.006+08:00

To assist or to not to? Its amazing what project work and polytechnic politics can do. Simply amazing.

Receptive. Too receptive!

Well. Forgive and forget. It won't get me far anyways. I am sorry guys, really I am.

outing.

2008-07-16T23:21:00.001+08:00

Got tempted by this machine and tried playing....

VIOLA!

2 Dog Keychains!

Ate beef noodles.

:D

2008-07-14T22:41:00.003+08:00

-went school alone.
- did project alone.
- went to eat pepper lunch with friends.
- went to GSC to play battlefield 2 and CS 1.3.
- went home.
- :)
- pain in my knee is killing me. >;(
- well, yesterday's forgotten.

2008-07-13T13:01:00.000+08:00

Every happiness has it's pain says:
people go into relationship , is to go find problems.

By Sultan Shah

so she went away.

2008-07-13T11:47:00.002+08:00

This time its real, she said. All this nonsense, over some problem not even related to me. To us. Why must some other problems, which are not related, affect my life. Yes I know, you and her are like Superman and Lex Luthor. But does it have to involve me. Everyone in class, are my friends. Be it fair weather friends or hi/bye friends. And I have nothing against them. Why do you have to force me to hate those you hate too? And yes, I chosed not to hate them, and it became our newly found problem. "Friends more important than me." You said? You know its not true, then why did you even say it. So I sacrificed you, for my friends? Those words are not even true.

Didn't we say that the problem between him, her and you are over? Didn't we wipe that slate clean? Why bring it up the following day and make a whole new problem? About me trusting him over you? I was just making sure. You would have done the same thing, if you were me. But that was like long ago? Why can't you forget and move on? If every single little detail you keep in you, how are you supposed to be happy. So yes, like you said, I hit your limit. What's left to say? Nothing. :/

"Mistress Mary Quite Contrary"

Things I did.

2008-07-12T22:14:00.002+08:00

- went out
- ate long john silver's combo 1 alone
- thought about things
- was there trust to begin with?
- drank carlsberg
- played dynasty warriors 2 on psp
- walked home

OMG.

2008-07-12T17:56:00.002+08:00

Miniature Hobby International

6 Raffles Boulevard

#03-280A Marina Square

Singapore 039594

Tel : +65 6336 0862

Miniature Hobby International

1 HarbourFront Walk

#02-36 VivoCity

Singapore 098585

Tel : +65 6376 9482

Morgan Hobbycraft Center
865 Mountbatten Road #02-91/92
Katong Shopping Center
Singapore 437844
Tel : +65 6440 1890
Fax : +65 6344 1782

Timemachine Studio
#01-88 Millenia Walk
No 9 Raffles Boulevard
Singapore 039596
Tel : +65 6339 2189
Fax : +65 6339 5916

The M Workshop
91 Bencoolen St
Sunshine Plaza #01-58
Singapore 189652
Tel : +65 6334 1180

Central Hobby Plus
100 Orchard Road
Meridien Shopping Centre #02-03
Singapore 238840
Tel : +65 6734 1693
Fax : +65 6737 8565

Hobby Focus
14 Scotts Road
#02-51 Far East Plaza
Singapore 228213
Tel : +65 6734 5803
Fax : +65 6734 8780

The Orchard Store

Hotel Grand Central

Level 1, # 01-02

22 Cavenagh Road / Orchard Road

Singapore 229617

Tel : +65 6737 4159
Fax : +65 6278 9916

FAKE!

2008-07-07T11:00:00.000+08:00

Would you agree that we're far from all right?
We fall below the line! We fall below the standards!
If only you could see
What we see through these eyes
This plague is spreading, it will sink under your skin!

I won't believe the horror that I see
Is more than your poison inside me

Let's tear away these faces we hide behind
Cutting through the airwaves
Open up our minds
Show ourselves to the world tonight
Cause we are.. No longer in disguise!

Well, I’m aware of your lies, how do you sleep at night?
It's all a matter of time, I think their catching on
You dream of wars, that I refuse to fight
While people disappear, another broken heart

I won't believe the horror that I see
Is more than your poison inside me
I won't let go, though the plague is spreading
I won't let go

Let's tear away these faces we hide behind
Cutting through the airwaves
Open up our minds
Show ourselves to the world tonight
Cause we are… No longer in disguise!

We can save ourselves
(Rise Up!)
You can't stop us
We can save our soul
Rise Up!
We don’t need your help
We can save ourselves
Rise Up!
You can’t stop us

Let's tear away these faces we hide behind
Cutting through the airwaves
Open up our minds
Show ourselves to the world tonight
Cause we are… No longer in disguise!

Tear away these faces
Tear away these faces
Tear away these faces

We're no longer in disguise!

Watch Me Bleed

2008-07-03T01:59:00.000+08:00

Lost myself in an endless goodnight
Kept the time by the patterns of the streetlight
Couldn't get it right
I could never get it right
Sadly, this is a wasted conversation
Lost on you, lost on you
This is a test of my patience
Your blue eyes are so cruel
I can't escape all the things we said
I'm taking years off my life with the weight of regret
Now there's nothing left
There's nothing left to lose

Shouldn't I feel all right?
I swear that I tried
To be alright
To sleep at night

The night fades with a breath of sunshine
I'll do my best to adjust to the morning light
I cant keep my place
Feels like I've been awake for days
Sadly, you turn away and now I'm faced
With the harsh truth, the harsh truth
My cold heart is a place where true love cannot lose

Shouldn't I feel all right?
I swear that I tried
To be alright
To sleep at night

There's static on the airwaves
I'll try to find the light through all this haze
I can't find the words that I'm trying to say
So try to forget me as I walk away

Shouldn't I feel all right?
I swear that I tried
To be alright
To sleep at night

Drowning

2008-07-03T01:54:00.000+08:00

Stand up!
You know you have the right too!
Speak out
For the things you that you believe!
if we let them
And they will stab you in the back over again
Take your integrity

How long will you let this go on
They're drowning you in fear

Speak up!
Your voice just isn't breaking through
It's time now!
It's gone on way too long
if we let them
They will tear you into little pieces
I think there is something wrong

How long will you let this go on?
They're drowning you in fear

You're letting your hopes go straight to hell
and i know the end is near,is near

The time will come
The time will come
The time will come
You will be sorry for what you've done
The time will come

How long will you let this go on?
They're drowning you in fear

You're letting your hopes go straight to hell
And i know the end is near, is near

You say you're sorry
For what its worth

Empty Glasses

2008-07-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

The Only Medicine

I WASH IT DOWN
just to block out all the sound
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE ALONE
WELL look at me now

Sleepless nights
Painful goodbyes
Who the hell was I kidding?

the room starts to spin
ALL ALONE AND BLEEDING ONCE AGAIN
CAN YOU HELP ME MAKE THIS
MAKE THIS FUCKING END!!

Oh my God there must be something...
Something to take the pain away
And so there's nothing you can give me...
It's probably better off that way

Just forget
All I ever wanted
Was to forget

Bloodshot eyes and a starless sky
Who the hell are we kidding?

YOU LOOK SO CONTENT
I GUESS THE BRIGHT SIDE
HASN'T FOUND ME YET
PULL ME UP SO I CAN CATCH MY BREATH

Oh my god there must be something
Something to take the pain away
And so there's nothing you can give me
It's probably better off that way

I live my life in the shadows
Of the things i try to hide

Oh my god there must be something
Something to take the pain away
And so there's nothing you can give me
It's probably better off that way